Bring on the ladies

[James]

I travel around a lot and as such walk into established communities of drummers / bands etc fairly regularly.

I'm slowly building the opinion that the more ladies in a group the less egotistical the experience.

Anyone else have that experience, or am I on my own on this one?

[michi]

I'm slowly building the opinion that the more ladies in a group the less egotistical the experience.

Yep, definitely, beyond a shade of doubt. The ladies are a lot more reasonable when it comes to speaking up. Quite a lot of them have something to say other than "see how loud I can be", which I find refreshing…

It seems to be worst in drum circles. Inevitably, there are always one or two guys there who need to hog centre stage, regardless of skill level. (Actually, if they could play better, they probably would feel much less of a need to be in the spotlight…)

Michi.

[mgmcgahon]

Good one. Totally agree.

[the kid]

I don't aggree. Females have egos too. And tantrums... sorry ladies

[e2c]

Yes, women can be just as ego-centered as men - but that depends on the person, no?

As for "tantrums," it seems to me that the word is more applicable to small children, though I've seen adults of both sexes have them.

[michi]

As for "tantrums," it seems to me that the word is more applicable to small children, though I've seen adults of both sexes have them.

I've seen more than my fair share of women throwing a tanty…

Michi.

[e2c]

What about men?

A bit more seriously, I think it's kind of interesting [said in Mr. Spock voice] that this thread went from praise to complaints so quickly, even in jest. (Of course, since Rachel's in Mali, I'm outnumbered here, for now ... )

[the kid]

I guess really a band of men means no dancers while a band with guys and girls means drummers and dancers. That might mellow out the whole thing cos everybody has to work together to make a performance rather than a djembe fest. Still do i'd never see drumming as a competion whether or not there is girls dancing.

[e2c]

Well, there *is* a shortage of male dancers outside of Africa... but that doesn't mean that all dancers are women, either. (Nor that all men who play djembe are egotistical and super-competitive. )

I do think that a mix of men and women - in terms of both musicians and dancers - tends toward a more mellow feeling. but it all depends on the people involved, really. My teacher is a fine drummer but very laid-back, and most of the male students who've stuck around seem to emulate him. The guys will sometimes compete a bit, but in a very friendly way, and it's fun.

I honestly just enjoy playing music with other people, and since i gravitate toward bass djembe and duns, I'm not in a position to "compete" anyway.

[djembeweaver]

I used to agree with James on this, and I still think there's an element of truth there, but the more I meet the various drumming communities the more I think egos are fairly evenly distrubuted across gender. The commonly inverse relationship between ego and ability seems to hold too.

[Afoba]

hello!
huh, difficult topic!
I think James is quite right as long as we talk about structural tendencies (and not absolute realities).
And there's something else, the Kid and e2c mentioned it (or nearly mentioned it):
What James says only concerns bands with drumming women, not with dancing women (in a pure male drumming section band).
I imagine that it's about the same with dancing sections with/without men (so the other way around)! Has anyone made any experiences which allow to compare?
In general I think it's quite difficult and risky to discuss such a thing in a forum - very easy to take something wrong here. Same with playing/dancing spirits and differences between men and women.
As e2c said, it's not group A and B in general, but A or B can be more often among males/females.
Have a nice evening,
Daniel