Well, you're a toubab - of course nobody would object to some "crazy american" playing...
(Will be true for me when/if I ever get there.) But I agree completely with your comments re. local women... and that might change over time, as it has in the US, Canada and Europe. (Things are still very much in the process of changing here, though.)
The most resistance I've met over the years (been studying non-Western percussion of various kinds since the late 80s) has been from some American men - mostly older (i.e., 50 and over), mostly either jazz musicians and/or older guys from the drum and dance scene who believe that drumming is not
for women. Younger musicians have generally been pretty welcoming and have treated me as a colleague. This is also true for people from various Middle Eastern and North African countries - even when women "back home" don't play. (Which is usually the case - but that's changing, too. I've found YouTube vids posted by *very* capable women musicians from Iran, for example - that's a real thrill for me personally.)
I have also noticed that young women and teenagers from other backgrounds - Indian, Caribbean, etc. - show a lot of interest in learning to play tabla and other instruments that have been a "guys only" thing in the past.
Change comes slowly. As for what you're saying about the physical side, I think that's much more about stamina than it is about upper body strength. (At least, for me it is, although i don't play strapped up, due to some neck/shoulder injuries.) Drumset playing is - IMO - much more demanding in terms of overall strength, although I should qualify this by saying that I don't play set... I'd be interested in hearing more from people who do (and who also play djembe/duns) to get an informed take on this.
And please don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to put down the Amazons. Les Amazons are really capable and good at what they do. I just feel they were trained as adults. And yes after 10 years with training like they are getting, they kick some serious butt.
Gotcha - and as far as being trained as adults, I'd never assumed otherwise. But that doesn't necessarily have to mean that a person is going to be chronically behind on the learning curve, either. (I didn't start playing percussion until I was in my early 30s...